(((Girl))) I think what she's talking about is that if you are not committed to staying alive and healthy (so not still considering SH as an option), then you put her in a risky position. The T can be liable in a situation like this. Taking responsibility and doing your fair share I think means being honest about whatever you're feeling, committed to talking about it in session (no doorknob bombs about SH), and not acting out your feelings.

The flip side is that she doesn't seem to fully appreciate how her mistakes in not creating a secure therapy frame have left you feeling somehow unsafe and that has fed the problems.

I don't know if she can see her part in this or not. Her response leaves me thinking she fundamentally believes that you just aren't willing to be ready enough to do the work. I think you thrived during the supportive part of the therapy, but the issues began when therapy evolved into doing the difficult work. Her frame worked for the support, but wasn't a foundation for the next phase of therapy.