first of all....admitting this problem means you do love them and cherish them and want the best for them....the next step is action...i highly recommend what muse said about seeking therapy...and if y our kids are old enough to remember this maybe they should go to?? They might be too young and if they are...thats great..you can start brand new and it wont have to much of an affect...except for malnutrition....malnutrition can cause severe brain damage as well as physical damage..so that would be a good thing to start with.....also have you ever thought maybe if your feeling good thats when you should get all their lunches and breakfeasts and snacks out ...so that they can just grab it from the table when they are hungry?? So if you forget or just physically and mentally cant thats ok they have something healthy within reach? What is your husband doing to help you? He cannot cook dinner a few nights?? And play with the kids??? Always remember if you cant say much to your children and dont have enough energy....at least say i love you.....thats three words....TRY ....i know its hard..believe me alot of us know and i know you know...but i think if you get on some meds and/or start taking better care of yourself as well then it will be benefical all around...Im guessing your a stay at home mom? Since your kids are home all day? Well what if you put them in Daycare to get them with kids their own age so they can play and have fun and you get a part time job...nothing stressful or laborous...but just something part time to get you out in the world..something that gets you away from the house once in awhile? I think that would help tremdenously...change of scenery...and do things for yourself once in awhile like in the evenings...go excerise..do yoga...take art classes..go back to school ....involve yourself in an activity that you enjoy...and when your children get older involve them as well and then thats spending time together doing things you BOTH like to do...try to break out of the negative to see the positive....its hard and will take some dedication but knowing your a good mom to begin with by admitting this will help alot and will definitly be a good jump start with future enhances between you and your children...how old is your youngest? You might have Postpartum depression...and thats nothing new ...even celeberity mothers have admitting to forcing themselves to feed their children...and you can have that kind of depression alot even if your kids are like three..if you had it the first time and gone untreated it probably has gotten worse throughtout your other pregnenies...id check with a doctor on that one....good luck and keep us up to date on your progress!!
love, Inny