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The_little_didgee · Sep 04, 2014, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

Could you ask your pdoc? If you don't have other BP symptoms, other than irritability, then it probably wouldn't qualify as hypo/mania. Could you check the dsm5 criteria? It used to be that you needed to meet more criteria if your mood was irritable and not euphoric, but I haven't looked much at the dsm5. Also it may be a possibility that you're just not so aware of your mood at times because of your ASD or because of dissociation due to stress, idk? Maybe ask someone close to you that you trust if your mood has ever seemed higher than usual?

*Willow*

No I did not check the DSM-5.

The last depression I had was not a typical one. I had a lot of hallucinations and false beliefs. Some were mood congruent and others were not. When it was at its worst there was a presence beside me that I interpreted to be another worldly being that was waiting to pull my soul out of my body. There was other stuff too but this was my main worry. I also had a lot of agitation.

What is odd about this is I get hallucinations and agitation even when I am okay. I have been like that since I first got ill at the age of 25.

I have a history of depression but none are like generic depressions. A lot of it has to do with my ASD and the associated social struggles. I don't always know how I feel. I can usually identify the basic emotions such as anger and sadness. The more subtle emotions are a lot harder. Sometimes I feel like I have no emotions. It is as if I am mentally flat.

Dissociation doesn't sound like what is happening to me. I don't lose time nor do I have a history of abuse/trauma.

I know people with ASD can appear to be manic especially if they develop a new obsession because every waking hour can be devoted to it. Emotion regulation can be hard for them too. If they feel any kind of strong emotion it can be hard to return to baseline. This is very different from BPD because it is not triggered by fears of abandonment. A new obsession is enough to trigger it.