Quote:
Originally Posted by The_little_didgee
I met a woman when I was in the hospital who claimed to have bipolar schizoaffective disorder. She was nothing like all the others I have met with the disorder. She was coherent, social and clean when she was in the hospital. She even started a relationship with another patient who was in there after he broke up with his girlfriend. It turns out she was full of **** because she was admitted every single year around Christmas time. What a convenient mental illness. Perhaps she really had bipolar disorder or SAD.
Cases like this frustrate the hell out of me. It was worse when I was younger because all I seemed to attract were personality diagnoses. After that no one ever took me seriously or my complaints were minimized.
I have a psychiatrist who doesn't want to give me a concrete diagnoses because I attend university part-time. The only thing she told me is that I have a psychotic disorder on the schizophrenia spectrum. She knows I struggle with looking after my apartment, eating properly and motivation. I don't work. How disabled do I have to be to be taken seriously? I know I have to develop an acute psychosis one more time.
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I'm sorry that happened to you. Mine diagnosed me as SZA even though I was doing a MSc part-time, so it varies.
Idk...in some respects I can understand why people don't take me seriously, because I am so controlled and so I suppress anything weird/impulsive/inappropriate. Years of bullying & ridicule taught me to blend into the background: don't do anything to stand out. Even around my family! They don't see me pacing with agitation/akasthesia. They rarely see me cry. I don't talk out loud to voices because I know (well used to know) they weren't real. I don't tinfoil my head to stop them reading my thoughts and punishing me with the fricking noise, however much I want to, because people will think I'm weird.
I was in hospital, hearing voices, thinking they were trying to kill me with ECT (wanting them to succeed), yet I still put on a nice dress, did my hair, makeup, nails for my brother's stupid engagement party (that I was guilt tripped into going to) and smiled for the pictures and you'd never know on the outside. I don't really understand how I am able to compartmentalise/control so much, but I guess I can understand how people don't believe me because they don't understand it either. Uni pdoc did though. He was the one who called it compartmentalisation - eg 'yes people are trying to kill me and I'm scared, but I have to go to Uni & seem normal, so leave the house and get on the bus and smile at the bus driver etc etc' idk, that's just how I am...
*Willow*