
Sep 04, 2014, 03:20 PM
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Member Since: Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23
 I'm sorry that happened to you. Mine diagnosed me as SZA even though I was doing a MSc part-time, so it varies.
Idk...in some respects I can understand why people don't take me seriously, because I am so controlled and so I suppress anything weird/impulsive/inappropriate. Years of bullying & ridicule taught me to blend into the background: don't do anything to stand out. Even around my family! They don't see me pacing with agitation/akasthesia. They rarely see me cry. I don't talk out loud to voices because I know (well used to know) they weren't real. I don't tinfoil my head to stop them reading my thoughts and punishing me with the fricking noise, however much I want to, because people will think I'm weird.
I was in hospital, hearing voices, thinking they were trying to kill me with ECT (wanting them to succeed), yet I still put on a nice dress, did my hair, makeup, nails for my brother's stupid engagement party (that I was guilt tripped into going to) and smiled for the pictures and you'd never know on the outside. I don't really understand how I am able to compartmentalise/control so much, but I guess I can understand how people don't believe me because they don't understand it either. Uni pdoc did though. He was the one who called it compartmentalisation - eg 'yes people are trying to kill me and I'm scared, but I have to go to Uni & seem normal, so leave the house and get on the bus and smile at the bus driver etc etc' idk, that's just how I am...
*Willow*
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i tinfoiled my head once and whole body. i also papered my whole body with newspaper to disguise my thoughts as newspaper articles. so they would steal the newspaper articles and not my thoughts.i know ALL about talking to myself.lol
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