i understand what you are saying , i occcasionally mourn the life i could have had , depression has ruled mine for over 25 years .i try not to think too much about it now as you cannot unmake those decisions. focus on making better ones from now if you can ,good luck
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The world is not blind
it does not want to see !!!

dx severe Depression
Gad
Social phobic
Borderline pd
part time insomniac |!