I would like to support you in any way but I do not know what to say. I think you may be a good man at least because despite your mistake you wife is with you 100 percent. I do not regret anything particularly ( I mean, big stuff), I did a lot despite several limitations. I gave good fights. But now I go down hill and I feel past achievements do not add anything to the present moment, which is difficult and overwhelming. Once I tackle one issue, new issues appear and I do not have enough support. I am disappointed by family lack of reciprocity. I have been always 0 expectation and grateful for the little others want to offer. But it has been too much lastly. Ok, I regret not having admitted this was going on and started long time ago. It is like when you discover you have been cheated.
You are disappointed about yourself. In any event, neither you nor I can change the past. We can try to fix stuff now. In my case it is not being easy. Depression is not helping