Hi Candybear,
I'm sorry you're so tired. I understand what you mean by the hurdles. I don't know when peace comes-it would be nice if someone were to knock down those hurdles for you but they could be there for you to jump over for a reason. They'll make you stronger, I guess.
Don't be discouraged. You're doing great. You'll find peace soon enough and then you'll be looking around for something to do.
(((((Candybear))))))