Quote:
Originally Posted by TryingStill
Just WOW!
That's some food for thought.
You've left me speechless.
And now I feel kind of lost. Not that you caused it, of course. But seeing things that way put me in a "square one" situation, if you know what I mean.
And that sucks. So... Should I learn from the very start how to connect with someone? Who's going to be that patient? I always looked for someone who wouldn't not judge me for my complex, and found nobody (and the few people I've been in a relationship with were... not so nice people). Now I have to look for someone who seems patient and tolerant enough about my new state? Being that way, I can't help still feeling like some kind of cripple who is not allowed to be with anybody, unless they have some kind of "good samaritan" complex, which is rare and, given the chance, unable to predict.
Am I really that screwed up? I mean... I'm affraid of knowing someone (and there are a couple in view) and being turned down by them once we have intimacy, because of not being used to my own body. Sorry, I'm not being as clear as I'd wish. What if, now that I'm circumcised, I ejaculate too soon or I don't get a decent erection (due to anxiety or fear of hurting, etc), and they leave me because of that? I couldn't stand it again! It happened to me before (although it was a whole different case scenario: foreskin complex, the unsensitivity factor, etc).
Thank you once again. That was some mindblowing input.
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Thanks!
I don't think you're screwed up at all. It is natural to feel insecure about sex. Everyone does, even the most experienced ones. I worry: Does my face look weird? Does he think I'm fat? What if my vagina is abnormal in any way? Will he still want me if I forget to shave? All rather silly things, but I still consider them. Not WHILE having sex, then you sort of get lost in the moment, but before, etc. It's normal to feel insecure.
And your fears are inhibiting you. Even if you ejaculated too soon or something like that, it would not be the end of the world. Most women would be nice about it, knowing it's a sensitive thing for a guy, and not go around telling people or making fun of you. But if you are very worried, you could also tell her it before you have sex, that you just got circumcised and you have noticed that it sometimes make you ejaculate earlier etc., just as a warning. Depends on how well you know each other/connect, though.
Building sexual confidence takes time, and we all make mistakes and learn over time. The woman you eventually sleep with will have made mistakes or had bed sex too, you're not the only one. You have to practice to get better, you have to get over the insecurities.