gosh IG, i'm sorry. does your T know how bad off you were just that other weekend? being suicidally depressed doesn't leave much energy for doing more than trying to stay alive and doing the very basics of life. i guess some Ts take a very hard line when clients are sui or self-harm, but i don't know how helpful that really is for some clients. i thought your idea of coming up with a safety plan was a great idea and it seems a lot more realistic. take care whatever you decide.