Every county has a mental health center, they can offer a sliding scale fee or free visits to a Pdoc and for Therapy and can also see if you qualify for help getting medications. I know the mood stabilizer Lithium is like 10.00 a month, so doable Im sure.

In the meantime are you using any coping skills to help yourself when you get overwhelmed ?

meditation,mindfulness,exercise,healthy diet,breathing exercises to name a few .. Most coping skills can be learned on your own, or here on PC, youtube has some great videos that can walk your through the steps.

If your so down that your feeling suicidal then you really need to reach out for help. Its out there just make some calls.

Welcome to PC and take care