How do people with PTSD remind themselves that the here and now are not the past when we experienced our trauma(s)?

PTSD is something I've had for years but it only cropped up after major depressive episodes were taken care of med wise and therapy opened up a safe space to be in.

I used to live in a triggered state frequently when I couldn't tell I was in here and now. I used to lash out with such venom at any available target.......usually well intentioned people wanting to help. I sure bit a ton of heads off of innocent people!!

I still get lost at times with being able to distinguish then and now.

I've also learned that when I got in touch with the core anger at first it nearly killed me in its intensity. WIth the help of many therapists over the years I chipped away at than anger. At first I didn't understand why there was so much so deep and why it was so natural to go to anger instead of another emotion.

None of this work was easy nor is it by any means complete.

My traumas are not resolved and the therapeutic work I do is very intensely focused on the emerging material now.

I still am angry at what occurred in my life and how immediately following the attacks the very people (hospital staff of adolescent psych ward) who SHOULD have helped me did not.

It is beyond anything that I can do anything legal about. I sure wish I could sue the hospital and doctors but I can't.

That being the case I work on what I am able to do and control. I am able to go to my pdoc and therapist for help in surviving until I'm strong enough again to tackle the intense work. Right now is a period of backing off the focused work and learning my body and mind need rest and replenishment. I lost the ability to care for myself and am not happy about having to receive so much assistance (think bitter in fact!!) but I can now see that this is a situation that isn't in my control or ability to control.

Once that realization was made it helped me better understand that when I released my need to control the situation I often felt so much less angry. I realized my need to control came about from how out of control things were when I was attacked and subsequently re-hospitalized. I was living my life controlling it so that what happened back then would never ever ever happen again.

Guess what? Buddha and Jaweh both giggle at me with my thinking I can control it all. I now look to them a bit more to help me remember what was then and what is now.

How do you all handle this?

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