Thanks again for your replies. I'm still going back and forth about whether I'm going to go again (I didn't actually email her that I was going, just that I was undecided). On the one hand I say to myself that I am definitely not going as she is a trained, experienced therapist who is unable to listen and smile, I need to see someone else, and not keep delaying the decision. On the other hand I wonder if I am leaving just at the important part (which has come far too soon), and that if I talk to her about all this she will listen and smile.

I've never taken valium. I'm a big beleiver in placebos, I think they are really effective, so your post made me think that I must try rescue remedy.