Sorry, embarrassing ramblings about sex and orgasms......

I've written before about having had problems getting there recently when I have foreplay with o.h. I spoke to my t and she said it was prob to do with bringing up stuff in therapy about past SA.
We've (me and s.o.,not me and t sadly) been trying to get there without putting the pressure on, o.h. is v sweet about it...I can sometimes get there on my own.

So, I read a bit about orgasms online....and got a bit of a shock!
I have had a good sex life with o.h. for years, and normally always climax, at least once.
However, not the way people were describing it. Ie all over their body, backs arching, legs going etc....I know this isn't all the time, and I know that the Internet doesn't give a real life picture...but I've never experienced that. I know when I have come, and I definitely do, but it feels much. More mechanical somehow than these descriptions, and certainly not all over my body, or even outside the zone iykwim.
Sorry, I know this is off tangent, but I feel worried about it. I have issues really giving myself over during sex, always have to have my face covered to come etc...sorry to be so graphic. I wonder now if I have ever just let myself go.
I think the answer is no