I have a history of close friendships ending abruptly or simply fading away, and I'm wondering if it's normal or a symptom of BPD (I've never been diagnosed, but definitely have some characteristics of it).

In several of my friendships there's been a incident or two where I've irrationally lashed out at the other person, but aside from one instance it's never ended the friendship. The majority seem to end with us drifting away - life circumstances change, we no longer live or work close to each other and now have to make plans to meet up, and sooner or later catching up feels awkward, not natural. Eventually catching up begins to feel like a chore and soon enough I stop initiating it, because life's too short to have faux-friendships. Often the feeling seems mutual - a previously close friend falls out of contact and seems equally reticent to arrange future meet-ups.

With others, the dynamic eventually seems unhealthy - for instance, guy friends who are most likely romantically interested in me (they're overly eager to listen to my problems at any time of the day or night, help me out, and essentially have a non-reciprocal friendship; some have actually asked me out in the past). Others do the reverse, and begin to treat me like a therapist on call to talk about their problems. The non-reciprocity really gets to me - I don't like to feel that I'm using people, or vice versa - and recently I've gently cut a few of them off. I've insisted on no contact, which I guess is a BPD trait (totally cutting contact), but at the same time, is it really BPD? Or is it simply setting healthy boundaries? All of the people in this category seem to have social/mental health issues of their own, and in retrospect I think the friendships were inherently unhealthy (no one's fault, just in each case neither of us was setting boundaries).

The last category is the classic 'huge fight that ruins the friendship' - this has only happened once, and we were both under a lot of stress, living in close quarters and had probably developed a co-dependent relationship. After the fight, we both cut off contact and haven't spoken since, and it's definitely been healthiest for both of us.

Overall, does this sound like BPD, run of the mill stuff that we all go through in life, or both? At the moment I have no close friendships, and I'm not sure how I should feel about it. I clearly have a history of making dysfunctional friendships, but I'm in a healthier frame of mind now and I think I'll be able to avoid in the future. At the same time, not all my friendships have been dysfunctional, so surely I should have at least one long-term close friend? It seems odd that all my close friendships seem to have an expiry date of 2-3 years. It makes me somewhat nervous about getting close to people if sooner or later we're going to stop being friends and they're going to be left with a ton of embarrassing info about me and no obligation (other than being a decent person) to keep it under wraps. (Obviously referring to friendships that end poorly here; it's not really a concern in friendships where we've just drifted apart.)