I have been exactly in your place so many times over the past few years...always hating myself for treating others the way i do and cn't control it, then hating myself more because I cant control it. Sometimes I pace like a wild beast in my room and sometimes I can't stand it and come roaring out of my room screaming. I really feel sorry for everyone around me, but they say they love me and will stick by me...I don't understand that at all, cause If I were them I would kill me!