I'm sorry you don't get to see t this week, and your thoughts are not stupid they are valid. I would be anxious also. I wish you were near me , we are having an awesome autum arts festival next weekend , I plan to limp my way over there for distraction . I'm going through a bit of paranoia and depression myself. I hope you cope until you see your t. Know that those are negative thoughts, not real ok. Sending hugs

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