-I'll be honest before I respond: I didn't read all of the replies so far. I read the op, and skimmed the replies. So I'm sorry if what I'm about to say has already been said, but I only have a couple minutes to say what is in my heart right now.-

I honestly used to feel like I wasted large swathes of my life, whether it was due to my depression, or simply because I felt that even when I was healthy I was just totally unworthy.

Battling depression has taught me so many things! I've learned to reframe my thoughts, how to support myself, how to ask for help when I need it or even just want it, how to forgive myself, how to stop comparing myself to others or my own expectations... and so much more! And every step of the way was unbearably difficult. And every moment was a "wasted" moment that I could have spent healthy if I were only a different person...

But I'm not a different person. I'm me! I'm the me who bravely battles every day just to live! I'm the me who has gone from the depths of darkness and almost taking my own life to now cherishing every moment. When I look back... it wasn't wasted because I could have made healthier choices... My life instead made me who I am, and even when I'm not healthy I would never wish anything different. Not anymore! That wish would crush me every time, and I can't afford to risk that in my life anymore.

I say this to give you hope. I HOPE it gives you hope. you're life isn't "wasted" battling with depression - it's an epic battle! Essentially it's life, REAL life! Life worth battling for. You're not alone. We fight this battle together, bloodstained on the battlefield and marred with the scars of our deepest moments, but not giving up! Every breath is a moment that we're fighting, especially when that next breath is Sooooo hard to take...

But you are not alone.