I still think it is marital rape. You can't consent when you're asleep. I don't care how serious or not serious you were; you told him it was violating and degrading, so how could he not get that it isn't pleasurable for you, or acceptable?

Just because you gave him permission in the beginning doesn't mean you can't say, "STOP." It's your body, and you have the right to decide when and where it's touched, and when that touching stops.

Many rapists don't do so in a violent or aggressive manor. There are "gentle" rapists. There are guys who "take advantage" but otherwise claim to care for women, including women they're dating.

Frankly, and this is my opinion, I think there's something wrong with a guy who'd want to have sex with a woman while she's unconscious. And I don't really see why a guy would want to have sex with a woman who didn't want to have sex with him.

Also, I don't think you should have sex, unless you want sex. If you have no desire for sex, there's likely psychological or even physical reasons for it, and a psych or physician may be able to help you.

I don't think you're doing your children any favors by having sex when you don't want it, just to keep your husband happy. I think you would do them far better by seeking therapy together to resolve the issues so obvious in your marriage. Show your children that both partners deserve sexual pleasure and happiness. Do you have boys or girls, or both? Do you want your boys to think they're entitled to sex from their wives, even if their wives are asleep or not in the mood? Do you want your daughters to believe they should have sex when it's not pleasurable for them?

I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but I really think you lack self-esteem and see men as superior to women, even if you don't consciously think you do. Thinking your husband is entitled to sex when you don't want it, suggests you don't think your feelings matter. Was this how you saw your parents? Your father made decisions, and your mother "settled" or took her interests last? You seem to think women (at least you) are second, or probably last, to others.

A man should care about his partner, as she cares for him, and want her to enjoy their sexual relations. If she doesn't, he should encourage her to seek help, and be willing to participate in that help.