I agree that if YOU are done having children you should get the vasectomy. After we had three kids, we knew we were done. It took a LOT of pressure of off me when my husband did it. It was no big deal.
I have a low sex drive because of my meds. So depression and fear of pregnancy could be part of the problem.
This whole deal of everyone changing passcodes, hacking into FB, etc. would drive me nuts. There needs to be trust. Get to counseling fast.