Hi
First, I would like to clarify that this may sound like an insignifcant problem, but I ensure you - the struggle is real. I am 100% sure that a depression's next if I do not resolve this problem soon.
Okay, so.. I'm having an extremely hard time deciding what to do with my life.
Now the thing is, I have so many opportunities - everything is possible. Well, except becoming an astronaut perhaps.
Let me give you some background info:
- Finished high school last year (I'm about to embark on my second gap year).
- I received very good grades, altough I am not very happy about school.
Immediately after finishing high school I got a job as a salesman (very prestigeful, company car, iPhone, laptop etc.) and I was so happy, because I believed it was just the thing for me, since i had been a great telemarketer up until this point. I had it all planned out - become a salesman, sales manager, sales director and finally CEO. But, it didn't go as planned. I was no longer the best, and I got really stressed, and decided to quit after 3 months.
Subsequently, i suffered a severe existential crisis. What should I do with my life now? I had always pictured myself as a salesman, so i told myself that it was just because it was the wrong place for me.
So, I got a job as a part-time sales manager and yet again i was so excited (first management position at 21 years - yeah!). Well, once again i got completely stressed and ended up dreading going to work even more, and once again quit after 3 months. Now, the existential crisis was back - with increased strength!
During this, I have kept a part-time job as a telemarketer which i slowly have started dreading going to for some reason, altough i have loved it for 3 years.
Now, half a year later, after quitting both jobs I have still not moved on and found either another job, or an education.
This is stressing me out completely! I have considered ALL options out there: dentist, lawyer, doctor, businessman, policeman, the army, entrepreneur, artist, live a self-sufficient life in a tree-hut in the jungle and the list goes on.
I guess the problem is that i lack passion, and have no real interests, nor any unique skills. Furthermore, I'm having an existential crisis - I'm used to being the best, succesful, smartest, funniest etc. - and all of a sudden I feel that I look into the abyss, towards a future as an unemployed loser. Moreover, I have heard that it is a bit of a stereotype that the cool kids in high school becomes losers later in life - which only supports the fear of my future.
I have no idea what to do, and no idea how to even find out. Please, help - I am desperate!!