***************TW*******************

A week later..and the urges are getting worse and worse I have SI'd a little bit, but it just didn't feel enough. I don't think any pain is enough right now.

When I am out driving, I find myself wondering if I am brave enough to just steer off the road and do myself some damage. THAT would hurt...but maybe not even enough then.
I am not suicidal, its not about wanting to be dead, its about wanting to feel a pain that's so deep and takes my breath (and focus) away.