Jane, FUBAR is US military slang for "F-ed Up Beyond All Recovery" or sometimes "Repair". In other words, a hopeless situation.

Trust me, we swear like drunken sailors on leave here in the US, at least in the midwest/Great Lakes. It's the "Bible Belt" part of the country in the South where people are much more socially and politically conservative and religious that there is more of an inhibition to not only swearing/cursing in public, but things like public displays of affection. But even that changes as the culture becomes more homogenious due to media/communications, migration, etc.

I swear a lot now. Didn't always used to. It can seem kind of vulgar at times, appropriate/casual at others. If they don't like it, well, you know, **** them!

Now, on to something more serious "I need, need, need...." Like Bluegrey said, it's another commonality with those of us in the C-PTSD club. We all seem to have these unfulfilled needs - we didn't get what was needed in childhood, and it affected us in negative ways.

Notice, you didn't say "want" or "desire" - again, the words DO matter. Need - it's a requirement, a necessity, like oxygen or water. Now, if you simply "wanted" something, that would be one thing, and I could see maybe feeling it was inappropriate to "want" at times. I "want" a Mercedes. I "want" a million dollar house. I "want" the latest designer couture whatever. Would the person survive without those? Yes. Could a reasonable case be made that a person who obsesses about wanting some frivolous luxury item is maybe being inappropriate in some way - yes, IMHO.

But, how about "I need a car for transporation" or "I need a place to live" or "I need clothes to wear" - in our society, you DO need those things. I don't know about other places, the second two are absolutes here - it's kind of tough to survive outside in a wet, continental climate where winters can dip to -40 degrees Celsius with heavy snow and ice, and it's against the law to go around naked. Now, a car, where I live, is pretty much a necessity. Granted, this is Detroit, the Motor City, the capital of auto production, so over the years, our political leaders were influenced by the auto industry to promote private vehicle transporation, and our public transporatation is very rudimentary compared to most major urban centers. But, many places, it's "necessary" to have a car to realistically effectively function in that society, not just a want or whim or desire.

So, would you feel guilty or shamed or wrong if you said "I need clothes?" Of course not. So, why feel that way about needing basic human kindness. That's all it boils down to.

I worry about it, too. I am too clingy and needy to the people I have met on this journey, and at times I think I am so unworthy. Except I'm really not unworthy, and I hope that I can give as much, if not more, than I get out of these relationships. I just need love, friendship, and in my case a bit of the fathering I never got in real life. So, I try to meet guys with similar interests, who can give me just a bit of that.