Yes, that is how I was programed to be by my parents and older brother!

Did your T ever explain exactly HOW to be kind to your self?
For me the "how to" is the critical point and, since I have done a lot of work to change my early programing, I will offer a few how to's here.
First, I went into therapy, counseling and 12 step support groups to confront and CHANGE the rotten programing my parents and other installed in me when I had no defense. I read many books about Self Talk [google it] and attended some workshops on Self Esteem [google it] and Inner Child Work [google it], bought a collection of tapes by Jack Canfield [google him] and worked and worked and worked at changing the destructive programing my parents and others put in me. I did Mirror Work [google it], Self Talk, wrote in 100s of journals, wept for about a year straight, lots and lots of ANGER work [google it] and ever so many other things to somehow BREAK the hypnotic spell of my rotten programing.
I discovered from the very beginning that, if I were going to get free of the filth my parents put inside of me, it would be a serious struggle BUT each effort led me to another stepping stone on the way up the hill of recovery and freedom from my early parental programing and, since I was not in love with nor committed to my very dysfunctional parents, it was pretty easy to go against them and their insanity to find freedom. I imagine anyone who is in love with their parents will find it nearly impossible to go against their beloved parents to unload the rotten crap their parents dumped inside of them.
There is a lot more I could say about the "how to" of changing childhood programing but there isn't enough space in a forum to do it so take these tips and get started changing the crap you were given as a defenseless child.
I'd love to read about your journey back to mental health and the "how tos" that you used along the way.
good luck,
jim