Whew. Just hung up the phone from t. very, very emotional session for me. But am so glad I got it over with today instead of trying to put it off for 2 weeks. I wrote out what I wanted to say, cried my way through reading it all to her, mostly about how I felt about her not having that plan in place. She came up with a plan so that I will be notified in case heaven forbid something happens to her, and that made me feel a lot better, she said she could sense me calming down over the phone. We talked about our t relationship, my frustration with the whole process right now, the judgement of myself that I seem to be in the grips of right now, she called it "being in the soup", etc etc it was a very emotional session, a cleansing kind of session, what I totally needed it to be. My t is good. And my faith in her is restored. Thanks ya'all for your support I felt it while I was forcing myself to say what I needed to say. PC peeps rock!!!