I was doing so well and was in a good start to recovery. So a few days ago, I start hearing voices again. Normally I only hear them when I am very depressed. But I am not depressed now. I took my antipsychotic (perphenazine) and got totally wiped out. I can't make it out the door so had to cancel stuff with friends. Really hard on me.
These voices suck. Now I am getting stupid demon voices saying things like "you are going to HELL!"{ That is so ridiculous. What a cliche'. I think every demon says that. I also have a voice telling me to write a letter to my therapist. But I don't know why. She has just been bouncing things around with me about my recovery. I can call her anytime (no need to write a letter).
My friends mostly know what is going on. I am afraid some of them may leave. But sadly, I can do nothing about that. I am tired of hiding my illness.
I got mad at my husband today. He went out with a friend to look at rocks and have lunch. I wish he had stayed with me. I hate being alone with the voices.
I was working as hard as I knew how to get into recovery. Now I feel like I have taken a giant step back. Really makes me sad.
Thanks for letting me vent. I appreciate it.