Thank you for all of the kind responses. It's been a tough day, having spent most of the day waiting for an exterminator to address a rather large yellow-jacket problem - I guess I had the wrong two hour window and ended up waiting 5 hours for someone to arrive. Anyway, I'm glad to know that I'm not alone; but this still hurts like heck. I'm mostly on the verge of tears at most points of the day. When I'm alone, I cry (not something that I thought I'd be doing as an adult/husband/parent). So, Tuesday it's off to the MD for a medication evaluation. I think I need to take that leap. Sadly, all of this would not be happening were it not for my poor decisions. I'm learning from this - learned that I can't drink anymore (a positive), learned that I have a very loving and supportive wife, learned who my real friends are, and learned that I need to have a lot more faith.

So, thank you for all the time that you've taken to read and reply. I'm holding on by a thread right now, know that I'll be in tears by the next time I'm alone...hoping, holding on to hope...in this earthly struggle...