T has said things to me that I translate to fit my negative thought patterns:

Statement: "Some of my clients see me for 90 minutes fortnightly, so that is an option"
Translation: "I don't want to see you every week, you are a burden"

Statement; "Do you think you would benefit from life coaching?"
Translation: "p*** off and find a life coach, you're doing counselling wrong."

Statement: "try to make those types of disclosures in session if you can, even if you have to read them out"
Translation: "Stop emailing me between sessions, you're the most irritating client ever."