You sound pretty bright, you write very well and you're in-touch with your emotions. Those things are pretty rare for an adolescent who is having difficulty. Get a handle on it asap, see a psychiatrist. Don't see a school counselor unless they are educated very well. I know school counselors were useless when I went to school in 70's/80's. I started having difficulty at 14 and took decades to try a find out what was going on. There are many types of disorders that can pop up during adolescent from mood disorders to dissociative, anxiety, etc. and they are usually not easy to diagnose so see a professional. Get your parents or an adult to recommend someone who has a good reputation, someone affiliated with a good hospital, etc. Just don't go to any Dr. you find in the yellow pages.