Oh alex, I very much understand your feelings. and it makes me mad and sad at the same time. I'm mad because some T's don't realize how important it is to some of us to be heard. argh!! ....maybe they don't realize the right way to listen to us and the way we need to be responded to..... ... but they should!!

that "state of infancy" you refer to .... could it be healthy "attachment"? I think that's what I'm missing(among other things ).... never got "unconditional" attachment.... where the world revolves around the infant and the world is safe and warm.

My dad didn't leave, he just turned his attention to the TV and ignored all that was going on..... like a pillow on that couch, he didn't interact or protect. He saw and knew it all and did nothing.

Doing nothing-- like not responding-- can be such a painful situation.

All I can think to say....(sorry not very good at expressing)... is that it sucks!! It sucks that T's are only human with their own short comings..... when one needs them to be flawless with complete understanding and compassion-- to make up for the things one might have missed at too young of an age to have a voice or truly understand it all.

Please try not to hate yourself.... it's not your fault.

Thinking of you.

mandy