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It does not sound like you're ready for a relationship. Snooping through someones phone and accounts is a serious violation of someones trust. If I asked a friend to help me with my computer and they went through my personal files I would be upset. Maybe you should discussed this with your therapist.
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"What kept me sane was knowing that things would change, and it was a question of keeping myself together until they did." ~ Nina Simone 
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