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Originally Posted by Andropov
I grew up in dysfunctional family. There was no physical or sexual abuse to my knowledge, but communication failure and emotional neglect did exist to some extent. I couldn't wait to get away from home as I found my parents to be overbearing and controlling. If I wanted to grow up, I had to get away.
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That seems like pretty crumby parenting to me!
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I guess that I'm a bad son who neglect his parents needs.
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IMO, your parents, who always had the power and responsibilities in your family, NEGLECTED your NEEDS! So, how and why are you supposed to meet their needs after what they did to you when you had no defenses as a little kid? I'd get a copy of Toxic Parents by Susan Forward and find out exactly what you "owe" your parents from her. As far as I am concerned, bad parents don't deserve much of anything, especially if they refuse to acknowledge their failures and APOLOGIZE to their child victims!
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but I would also be perfectly fine with not seeing them again in this lifetime.
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Seems that you have answered your own question there.
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I know they are my parents, but for at least a decade I have had closer relationships with random Facebook acquaintances than I have had with my parent. I'm not sure where I'm going with my ramblings, I guess that I want to know if my attitudes and behavior toward my parents is a sign of me lacking empathy and that I should be concerned about my emotional detachment to them.
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I have no idea what the statement: "I know they are my parents" means but, IMO, anyone who is abusive or NEGLIGENT, does not deserve any special consideration or "empathy" UNLESS they get honest and apologize for their MISBEHAVIOR. If I were you (and in many ways, I was), I'd go see a counselor if my emotional detachment was a bother to me. But as near as I can tell, your parents emotionally detached from you long, long ago so perhaps they need to make an effort to "reattach" to you STARTING WITH AN APOLOGY for how they NEGLECTED you as a child!
People talk endlessly about forgiving but, I'd have a hard time forgiving someone who REFUSES to accept their failures and APOLOGIZE for damaging me when I had no defense.
The day my parents ever apologize to me MIGHT BE the day that I forgive them but not before!
good luck,
jim
