So im in Korea right now, ive been here for one month so far. Im here because back in the states I dont do anything but sit at home and watch tv. My dad sent me here but i did not want to come. Im staying at a christian church but im not christian, i dont have a religion i believe, so i guess you could say im an atheist.

I am seriously depressed here, i sleep 12 hours a day, barely eat, im always angry and irritated, and i have suicidal thoughts. I lay in my bed and think about which way would be the best to go out. I would never ever take antideppresants but it is to the point where i am really considering it.

I have 2 months before i go back to the states but i dont know if i can handle it. I have no money so i cant change my flight date and my dad said i would have to live on the streets if i dont complete my 3 months here. My brother is telling me the same thing which i dont think he has the right to because he quit army basic training one month in because of "anxiety." Ive lost respect for him because of it. Medication is out of the question because this church i stay with does not believe in mental illnesses. They think everything can be cured by jesus christ. I have no possible way to see a doctor by myself either because i dont know how in this country and i dont have money. Please someone give me some advice i feel like im in hell right now.