Hi rukspc, I'm sorry that things are so hard for you
But are you sure other people would see it as a burden if you were to call, if you were to cry on their shoulder?
Or might they want to know if/when you're hurting, might they want to be there for you. Being there for someone really doesn't have to be a burden at all. Depending on the person they might see it as a privilege that you've gone to them when you need someone. So maybe have a bit more of a think about who you might like to call in those times??
And almost falling asleep at the wheel........well you know you need to be parking up a bit more on drives, right? Even if you say to yourself when setting out "I'll park up after half an hour"???
Are the drives actually helping though or are they maybe more part of the cycle of feelings?? If they are helping, great, but if they aren't helping as much or there are other things you might be able to do to help more.........maybe worth thinking about???
Do you think maybe it would help to write down some of the feelings you're struggling with as if you were calling someone to talk??? Just thinking it might help you come closer to "letting them out", expressing them to someone or getting help with them.............
Although you can talk to us as well, I'm sure a lot of us can empathise with the way you're feeling, offer you that "shoulder to cry on" and maybe give you some support in moving away from/through that.

Alison