I had posted something similar to this before on this site. One person suggested I try not to do the behavior (or have the thoughts) that follows the thinking and pay attention to how that feels. I've been trying to examine this, even though it is very difficult, I guess mostly because the thoughts I'm having are not bad enough to warrant such a reaction, and I feel anxiety ridden not understanding, and actually trying to pinpoint things. I don't know if this makes sense at all, and I'm sorry if it doesn't really apply to your situation. I completely get where you are coming from when you say that things seem to be speaking directly to you....the books for example. Am I understanding you right?