I understand how you feel, pinksoil. I do the same thing.

To be honest, no one has ever noticed in the 6 years I've been doing this. A few years ago I told my best friend about it, b/c she was SI-ing, and eventually was hospitalized for it. I've been able to stop for as long as a year, then I start again. I've never told her I've started again because I knew she'd be hurt by it.

I told my boyfriend about it, and he was really hurt, the way I'm sure your husband is hurt, whether or not he shows it.

Just thought I'd let you know you have someone here to listen.