I was married to someone like that (he spoke to me when I forced a conversation & had to pry his nose out of the book he was reading or the TV he was watching).

Living around dysfunctional parents & a dysfunctional H.....I built up a huge amount of ANGER toward them & especially H. I didn't grow up in a family that had any social interfaces but I did have one close friend growing up & we were on the phone all the time every day......but after my marriage was over & basically not having any friends during that time, I wasn't used to calling & having conversations with my new friends & I felt like I was the new kid on the block & didn't want to put pressure on them when they didn't have time for me in what seemed like their busy life......so I would usually wait for them to call (trying to take care of a farm by myself & all the work involved was & is a bit overwhelming)......but my friend was wonderful & she commented one time that she felt like she was being abandoned when she didn't hear from me more often......wow, it was a learning experience for me.....that someone really cared enough to want to hear from me & that I wasn't a bother to them.

I was learning all sorts of new things about myself after all those years of living in dysfunctional relationships.....& I have come to find out (even though there is no official Dx) exactly why my H was the dysfunctional person that he seemed to be IMO.......& it hasn't change my feelings about not being willing to ever live with him because there is no way to trust him to take care of me in our old age it that were to become necessary as he wasn't capable of caring for the marriage especially financially when I had a serious time with depression & other things that hit me when I lost my career & realized how bad the marriage was & had been......but the understanding of the underlying reason has calmed down my anger. I never felt guilt about leaving because my anger level was so great that it was a matter of survival for me & a matter of needing a level of peace in my life that was totally gone.

It's not always easy with friendships to end up knowing the reason for someone's behavior (assuming it wasn't done intentionally like I thought that my H was doing).....but it definitely can help us with our own internal feelings about the situation & help release any guilt or anger that can build up the longer that the relationship is tolerated.

All relationships are complicated & none exist without some work....but if the work isn't successful & communication is impossible...then the best thing to do is to leave the friendship/relationship & move on & make it part of your past without guilt or anger.