I am sorry that you struggle socially and seem certain ways because of the autism. Must be hard for you? Is there no centres you could attend to make friends?

Does your weight bother you?

You say that you can't be who you want to be because people don't like you when you are, In what ways do you feel you have to be different to fit in and why wouldn't they like you? I wouldn't say this is a good thing really imo or good for making friends. I think you should work on the things about yourself that YOU want to but not change for others. Try and find people who accept you for who you are maybe? I am sorry you feel people treat you badly but maybe that is about not being you too?

What things make you happy that you say are also 'down right pointless and boring to others'? Not everyone will feel that way. Maybe you could do some classes associated with them to meet people?

Have you tried MH dating agencies to meet someone? Perhaps try and meet someone who understands autism better? x