Ok so yesterday t pointed out that I seem to be "in the soup" right now. I found that a peculiar turn of phrase, had never heard it before, and have been thinking upon it. I like the food analogy, actually, so will run with it:

Ok so what is soup? You put vegetables, rice or pasta, etc in boiling water to cook. They change from raw, hard things to soft, cooked things. So if I am "in the soup" then I am one of those vegetables; let's say, a potato.

Now all I've ever known how to be is a raw potato, right? That's all I've ever been, so it's all I know how to be. Now I find myself in this boiling water that is change. It hurts. I'm feeling all twisted up inside. At some point, I realize that even though I have no idea what I'm going to be when I come out of the water, I know what I won't be - I know I won't ever be that raw potato again. I've already changed too much. I'm feeling like I don't know WHAT I am. I'm not that raw potato anymore, know I can never BE that raw potato again, and I'm not sure yet what I'm GOING to be when I come out of the boiling water either. So I'm having a bit of an identity crisis at this stage. This is the point in the recipe where the instructions say "turn heat to low and simmer." This potato's not jumping out of the pot, it just needs to simmer for a bit on low, and that's what this current break from therapy is.

I like that.