What is iop? Intensive out patient? I've experienced a kind of dissociation where I felt like everything was a dream world. It can be very unsettling. Sorry you are feeling so depressed right now, I know that is a very hard, scary, and frustrating place to be. I hope that things get better for you soon. In the meantime, hang in there as best you can, and if you have fun doodling and drawing, definitely do some of that.