I have dissociated a few times and it sure is weird. Once the world was like a cartoon. Everything was brighter and the world appeared to be animated. Okay, maybe that was an illusion, not a typical dissociation, but there have been other times. One time left me feeling totally empty inside as it was as if I was watching the world from the perspective of an outsider just viewing humanity as if we were but ants in an ant farm and came to see life as more than meaningless, but unnecessary. It's difficult to describe now, but at the time I could go on and on about it. Basically, we're all just drones, machines going through the same motions day to day for no reason other than survival and other than that there is no real point to life. Once I came out of it, it left me feeling this sense of intense apathy as well as a good ol' fashioned metaphysical conundrum about reality, life and the meaning of or meaninglessness of life in general. That threw me into a depressive state as I was so confused. I belive that life is utterly meaningless and that only we can ascribe any meaning to our own lives, but that feeling of life being pointless got to me.

I hope you feel better soon. You should try doodling up some cartoons about how you feel. Art has helped me (if even just a little bit) in my slumps. Who cares if you "aren't that good;" that's not what art is about! Art is about putting your heart and soul into something that expresses who you are, what you are going through or what you love. If you look at it like that, every piece you make can be a personal masterpiece!