Hi guys,

I think I've posted before about a girl that I really loved very much (still do actually), and I guess I'm just trying to figure out things after a long period of nothing but silence.

So, I've been in love with this great girl, but I don't think she thinks about me that way, or I don't know, initially when we were still in each other's presence she did always smile at me (before she knew me) and did sometimes touch me once we were friends. We were alone at times and she did show some things, but what was confusing was that she was doing this with me at the same time that she was starting to form a relationship with another guy.

She dated and was dumped by that guy in her home city (1000 miles from me) long after we parted ways and I think it hurt her. Hell, it hurt me just knowing that she was hurting .

Anyway, after much depression and missing her, I decided to tell her I loved her and sent her a message. At first she didn't respond for about a week and then I said to her that I was sorry, I think I went too far and asked her if she can forgive me and please not be angry with me. She then answered and said the following:

- She has someone special in her life
- She was not angry at me
- She was caught off-guard by my message

And, she ended it there. I messaged her again, saying again that I was sorry and I realized that she would be with someone special because she is so amazing and that I wish all the best for her and her relationship, and that she is always happy in everything of hers. I asked her a question, I actually forget now what it was, but I remember I did ask her something.

This was in 2012. To this day she has never answered me again or spoken to me ever again. We used to chat occasionally just before I did my love message thing. I still have no idea how she feels about me, whether she ever liked me or if she ever wishes to speak to me again.

So, I guess, what I would just like to know is, should I try and reach out to her again? What if she really doesn't want to talk to me, and is still mad at me. She says she wasn't mad at me, but from where I'm sitting it looks like she still is.

Can I be so hideous and unlovable that this poor girl can't even face one more text from me for the rest of time, till they bury me? I can't understand what I did wrong. OK, maybe I should've said something back in 2011 when we were still in the class together, but I thought she was dating that other guy. I thought she was off-limits.

I wish I could just speak to her again, I love her so much, and miss her so much . I've never felt this way about anyone. She is so amazing.

After my cock-up, I deleted her number because I said to myself I screwed up and I mustn't call her again because it's going to be like stalking. How can I be such a horrible person to her and get everything so wrong?