Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiablue
Well, I really outdid myself last night. I sent a flurry of angry texts to my therapist, I was angry because I asked her a question that she was being evasive on and then outright not replying to me ( cos texting/calling is for crisis only) and that just made me angrier, so I went for gold and told her I hated her, that me being furious was all her fault and I quit. - she still ignored me lol 
This morning, I'm not angry anymore. I feel calmer than I have for 3 days. I don't even feel sorry for what I said, or guilty. I feel calm and relaxed and relief. Which is really unusual cos normally I'd be feeling awful for having been such a b-itch.
She knows I hate being ignored, that when she does it, it only enrages me. Why continue to do it? 
I feel at peace about quitting. I've taken her number out my phone so that I can't contact her.
I was truly vile last night. A spoiled brat. Horrible. Yet I do not care an ounce today. I actually feel pretty good. What's going on? Normally I'd be crippled with guilt by now. |
Maybe you feel like it serves her right for not being there when you needed her? Like F-her and her precious boundaries, you've been busting your asss in therapy, dredging up horrible feelings, paying her money you could put to much funner uses and she has the gall to go and ignore you??? WTF!?!
But...
From pretty much everything you've ever written about her she sounds like a keeper. It sounds like you've been doing good work together and like she cares a lot about you-- limitations inherent to the psychotherapy relationship notwithstanding. So maybe go back and have the experience of expressing your anger and not having the other person or your entire relationship fall apart?