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Old Sep 06, 2014, 11:19 PM
SnakeCharmer SnakeCharmer is offline
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Member Since: May 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 906
If you don't want to attend the big bash, there's a way to go about it graciously.

You could send him a birthday card to arrive in advance, one that's pleasant (i.e. no sarcastic messages even if you feel sarcastic) and write a short note wishing him well. You could also give your dad a heads-up a day in advance, saying you won't be there , perhaps by mail if he's an argumentative sort.

If your brother announces his engagement, it would be a lovely gesture to put your own hurt feelings aside in order to send a card addressed to both of them, congratulating him and wishing her a happy future.

I avoid family get-togethers. But I find it helps me feel better about myself in the long run if I can go through the motions of graciousness. It really is all right to not attend functions you know will be a pain in your neck. I've found that if I pay attention to some of the polite details I no longer get pressured to explain myself to relatives who might not understand my actions.

I wish you a happy future, too, and hope you can find a way to do what's best for yourself. Good luck and take care.