I think exercise is the way to go if you don't have things lined up with a doctor for meds. I know that feeling. Playing the line dangerously close. It is amusing and brings a certain rush about it. Hence why I call bipolar the ultimate high. Problem is, when coming down from the manic state, all those feelings of guilt come oozing out. Similar to how being drunk or high on drugs will enable you to do away with inhibitions, allow you to forget about your need to maintain social norms and do whatever the hell you feel like doing. Damn near a dream state if you will. At least in my experiences. I joined a gym that has hour long cardio sessions with an instructor and lots of people. I've been having it really bad lately and I've found that just a couple days of intense cardio have me feeling like myself again. I wonder how long it will last, but from now on, I treat my workouts as if they are a much bigger deal than just good for my body. I need to workout or the risk of going off the rails becomes very high. I tend to find that there are a lot of people in the fitness world who are the same. It's very comforting. Working out alone won't work, joining a community of fitness is the way to go. Or at least I'm hoping.