Quote:
Originally Posted by alk2601
So this is my first post in these forums, although I've been coming here occasionally to read others' posts. I suffer from depression and have a substance abuse problem as a result. The other day I went to my therapy session. I've been to this therapist for about 9 months, and have been hungover multiple times in therapy. This time I had done a particular drug (nothing illegal) the night before and was still slightly affected by the "afterglow" the next day. I was honest with my therapist and told him what happened...and he sort of blew up at me. It wasn't uncontrolled anger, but he was clearly upset and sternly told me that I was "crossing boundaries" and wasn't allowed to come to sessions while under the influence. I was stunned, the "afterglow" didn't seem to be affecting me more than a caffeine buzz would, and I had been hungover in his office so many times before that I didn't think this was an issue (more than once I have gone to sessions early in the morning after staying up all night drinking, and was still slightly intoxicated).
I feel like this post is getting long-winded, but my point was that I am going to therapy in part because of my substance abuse issues, so I feel like it's a little unreasonable for my therapist to demand for me to be completely sober in all of his sessions. I feel a little hurt and confused by his reaction during the last appointment. Is this a normal reaction for therapists? Why would he be upset with me? I mean, I get that therapy isn't that effective for someone who is high/drunk, but I'm the one paying for it! Do I need to look for someone who is a little more understanding? Or am I asking too much from him?
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Welcome to the forum! I hope you find it helpful.
I have to say, I don't think his feelings or reaction are unreasonable, as long as he's expressing his concerns professionally. I am guessing your therapist wants you to be as committed to your well being as he is. Coming to session under the influence may well seem disrespectful, and even if not, as you say, it certainly seems counter-productive. And as far as his boundaries, yes, in my experience, it's a norm that clients are expected to be sober during session.
I think... more than asking too much or little of him, perhaps you are asking too little of yourself? I think it's important to try and raise your standards for yourself- if you've come to multiple sessions intoxicated and hungover... it is definitely concerning. Do you two have a workable plan in place to address your substance use and are you invested in it?
This isn't to say you're the only one who's ever done such a thing, and of course you can spend your money however you like, and of course you can change therapists.
Just need to decide what the best use of your time and money is.
I'd feel differently if you explained you were working really hard in therapy and having trouble kicking this addiction, but the way you're presenting it, you're irritated at him for having boundaries and not wanting you there under the influence and you're complaining that you can spend your money however you like, so I wonder if you're feeling defensive, or really just not thinking this is a big deal, or what?