Gotten all emotional about my husband's leaving to go work on things he needed to do. I got so involved in wanting his company in the morning I got more and more upset about it. It hurts . I needed to let go. I needed to take care of myself. I needed to encourage and cooperate. I have created such hurt and division instead of unity and cooperation . It has also contributed to my husband acting out his own pain. Yesterday was terrible. I couldn't seem to stop remembering what happened. Every thought was a pain to me. These regretful and sorrowful thoughts make me physically ill. It makes things seem less hopeful and more like we are really stuck now.