What I did and what my turning point was to letting go, and not becoming stuck with the past is to say one sentence.

I regret that this happened to me. Instead of saying it's my fault this happened, I'm to blame for what happened, if I did this differently or said something differently it wouldn't have happen. Saying you regret it frees you from thinking that way.

That was my major turning point, after doing that and literalyl saying it outloud I was able to let go of it all the shame, guilt, fear and blame.

I never thought it would work, but it did.

Also time helps heal as well, the mroe you talk about it and get it out, learn how to cope with PTSD and the past the easier it does get. I used to be plauged with PTSD 4 months ago dealing with triggers all the time, flashbacks in the form of body memories, nightmares, thoughts that would not going away of someone hurting me.

But i'm free now, after 8 years.

Stuff still comes up from time to time, but that will be something that i'll take care of when it happens. Triggers are something that I might have forever, but I'm ok with that now because I know i'm in safe place, that those 9 people cannot hurt me anymore.

Depressive episodes can defintly help bring on PTSD, when your mood drops you start to think, that's part of depression, I deal with that as well since I have clinical depression and seasonal affective disorder as well as generalized anxiety disorder.

When stuff like that happens you got to pretty much try and cut it off at the source, end that negative thought pattern but saying stop, cut, I'm ok, I'm safe. Even if you do not say it out loud, just in your head it helps. Another thing that helps me is writting. I can purge out all the negative and I do feel better.

I can understand the control thing, I wanted it back, and by doing what I did with the regret thing I was in control again.

Take care of yourself.

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>