Thank you for your reply Harmacy.

I just feel like everything is a really big mess cuz I made a massive 'excuse/ reason' for why I couldn't help.. at least I was honest about the panic attack though? ..I couldnt even tell them the truth that my anxiety had gotten in the way and was ruling me

it's weird cuz if someone else was unable to attend/ do something due to anxiety I would never think anything less of them.. but for me I am different and it's not ok and I should be coping better and be able to do things!!!!

I don't know how to be be more accepting of myself and what I am going through and finding ways to work around the obstacles rather than avoid and run at the last minute! I feel so inadequate and worthless..

does anyone have any ideas on how I can cope better with my anxiety?