Not saying that this T is doing what you are inferring at all!!......

However...how would any T responding to a client, in a situation such as this, in the manner you describe go any way to changing potentially damaging and historic patterns such a client may have experienced in the past? Does it not make more sense for a T to remain steady and fast in the face of such anger(totally justified and allowed if the client is experiencing) and showing the client a kinder way of being.....and therefore leading to resolving the reasons behind the anger.

OP..... all of your feelings are ok, and worth discussing with your T. I am sure your T will work through this with you.....if you want her to.